飞天煤球猫猫面 @[email protected]

阿西八戒
The 8 I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts

1. 希望你们，在传道的时候，别那么自以为是，如果有人不信，那也没关系，你们的神不是虚荣好妒的神。
I’d really rather you didn’t act like a sanctimonious, holier-than-thou ass when describing my Noodly Goodness. If some people don’t believe in me, that’s okay. Really, I’m not that vain. Besides, this isn’t about them so don’t change the subject.

2. 希望你们，不要以我的名义去镇压，征服，惩罚，残害别人，也不要与人为恶，我不要你们供奉。纯净度与水相关，与人无关。
I’d really rather you didn’t use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don’t require sacrifices and purity is for drinking water, not people.

3. 希望你们，不要用衣服相貌言辞来区分人。与诸有情，当怀慈忍。你们应当记得：女人=人，男人=人。色色生生，无有差等，但是说到时尚话题，非常抱歉，只有女人和部分极有天赋的男人能得到我的点化。
I’d really rather you didn’t judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, okay? Oh, and get this in your thick heads: woman = person. Man = person. Samey-samey. One is not better than the other, unless we’re talking about fashion and I’m sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.

4. 希望你们别为难自己，也别为难你那正当年的爱人，如果违反此诫，最好有点自知之明，电视关上，出去散步。不然你就草草自己吧。
I’d really rather you didn’t indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age and mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is go f*** yourself, unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.

5. 希望你们没吃饱饭的时候，对固执的人，恨意重重的人，不要理他，先吃，吃完再去找他们算账。
I’d really rather you didn’t challenge the bigoted, misogynist, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the b******.

6. 希望你们不要花钱给我建造奢靡之会堂/教廷/庙宇/圣寺/神龛，你们可以把钱用来：

a济贫扶弱

b 治病救人

c 好好过 好好爱 少看点电视
也许我是全知全能的复杂糖质生物，但是我生性淡泊。你懂的，我是造物主。

I’d really rather you didn’t build multimillion-dollar churches / temples / mosques / shrines to my Noodly Goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):
a. Ending poverty
b. Curing diseases
c. Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable
I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I am the creator.

7. 希望你们，别见人就说我曾召见过你，你并非万人迷，超越自己吧，然后去爱你的同辈。
I’d really rather you didn’t go around telling people I talk to you. You’re not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can’t you take a hint?

8. 希望你们，喜欢皮鞭蜡烛凡士林的，别强迫你的伴侣，当然如果他/她也喜欢，就去享受吧，别忘了拍照哦，另外，记得戴套套，那不过是一层胶膜而已。如果我不想让你做这件事儿的时候感觉很爽的话我早就让它上面有钉子或者别的玩意儿了
I’d really rather you didn’t do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather / lubricant / lass Vegas. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of mike, wear a condom! Honestly, it’s a piece of rubber. If I didn’t want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.

@board

这条怎么突然被转起来了……这是一年前公布的临时备用域名，现在已经基本过时了，没什么参考价值。请大家不要再转了。

我不喜欢删旧嘟嘟，因为哪怕是已经过时的东西也是我记忆的一部分。不过如果这条一天后还在继续大量被转，为了避免误导我就只能把它删掉了【。

———（原po内容）———

总结一下今天被墙的几个站的公开备用域名希望能帮到大家：
饼干米：
bgme.bid
0rz.one
嘟站：
ouo.o3o.ca（暂时不可用之后如果有新的我会在评论里补充）
sci站：
moresci.icu
ns站：
mastodon.fun
my.ns.ci